Silent No More

Often times I open my office door as I sit at my desk and grade papers or work on the computer. Every now and then a former student comes by and pokes his or her head in and says hello. I usually do not remember the student's name, but no matter how many years have gone by, I usually remember the face. To my surprise, there is one student who drops by every couple of years. The first time he came by to see me I was surprised, very surprised, for he and I had not really bonded during the semester, at least I thought we had not.

He was a very quiet young man, kept to himself and never spoke in class, raised his hand or asked a question. I must admit I misjudged him for weeks as he sat in my class. He looked angry because he never smiled or even grinned at my jokes. Even though some of my jokes were funny and the other students laughed, he remained serious, really serious. I often wondered if he wanted to be there or if he was even listening to me. At the end of the term, he passed my course and went on to the next level. After a couple of semesters went by, he showed up one day at my office. He walked in and without saying hello, began to ask me if I could provide him with a letter of recommendation and I was glad to help of course. He had not changed much; he was still "mean" "angry" looking, quiet and not very friendly. I prepared the letter, gave it to him and he was off. If my memory serves me well I don't think he even said thank you.

About a year later, he once again stopped by to let me know he would be graduating soon from the college. I felt tremendous joy, for he was one of the lucky ones who did not give up. There was no sparkle in his eye, no pride and no exuberant joy overflowing from any part of his body that gave me any sign of life. This would not be his final visit. Every now and then , he would visit my office, same room, same face and same quiet and unfriendly young man. Unlike before when he would walk in and catch me off guard with his cold demeanor, I quickly became accustomed to his ways. Where once I may have felt fear of this unknown strange and aloof individual, I began to see someone else emerging.

During one of those strange visits when he stood over my desk refusing to take a seat, he exclaimed, "Everything you said was true." With some confusion, I asked what he was referring to, and he said again, "Everything you warned us about." He then went on to tell me about his many struggles while he was in his third and fourth year of college, how his parents had worked so hard to help him succeed and how many sacrifices they had made. Quitting for him, no matter how hard life got, was simply not an option. He told me that he had learned to raise his hand, talk to his classmates and that he had found the courage to walk up to his teachers and ask a question. Sometimes he was well received by others, and other times he was rejected and ignored. However, he chose never to back down or give in to any of his failures. I am not sure, but I think he stood there for an hour or two maybe and just listed everything on his mind, everything that he perhaps had kept bottled up for years. All these thoughts poured out of his mouth, one right after the other as I sat motionless and speechless watching this young man transform before my eyes. I thought to myself, "When did this happen? How did it happen? Thank God it happened. "

The man standing before me on that day was not the young man that had visited my office many times before. This young man had found his voice. I sat in awe, watching him, smiling and inside my heart beat quickly. He needed to tell me where he came from, where he had been and where he planned to go. He needed me to hear it because he knew that I would understand.

This young man who stood before me now had courage and strength, an education and a law degree. In his eyes I saw the sparkle I had searched for and never found. And there behind the twinkle, not too hidden, I saw the joy. He was graduating, and he was proud.

DP is due for a visit any time now. I hope to hear from him soon!